Season 2 X 22 : Forever

Original Airdate: 5/9/2006
Written by: Liz Friedman
Directed by: Daniel Sackheim
Transcript by: Jenna

BEGINNING

FADE IN.

[ECU. Eye flickering open from sleep. A baby's cries can be head in the background.]

[Eye's POV: The digital clock. Double-vision of the time (6:19).]

[The eye belongs to Brent Mason. He moves a baby bottle out of his field of vision (the explanation for the double vision) to see the time now hit 6:20. Drowsily, he gets up from bed.]

CUT TO:

[The bathroom. Brent is wearing office clothes and is washing is face. He seems to feel a bit sick and gags. His wife, Kara, enters, carrying their baby, Michael.]

KARA: Honey?

[Brent coughs a couple of times.]

KARA: Are you all right?

BRENT: Yeah. Yeah, just fighting off a stomach problem. I... I'll be fine. [Re: Michael] Did he sleep okay?

KARA: Great. 'Long as I was holding him. Can't wait for colic to be over. Oh, shhhh... Hold on, Mikey. Bath time's coming.

[She starts to fill up the bathtub.]

KARA: He lifted his head yesterday. [Brent, getting dressed, smiles at her.] Take the day off. I mean, you're sick anyway and... and you hardly ever see him. Or me.

BRENT: I can't. I got a meeting with Crandall's Kitchens. I think that deal's gonna close.

KARA: They called about the car payment again. It's two months late.

BRENT: [reassuring] We're gonna be fine, honey. [to Michael] Enjoy your bath, little man.

[He kisses Michael on the head and Kara on the lips and leaves.]

CUT TO:

[The stairs. As he's walking down the stairs, his head starts to spin and he staggers a bit. He walks clumsily, holding on to the banister, and throws up.]

CUT TO:

[Their apartment. He enters, looking quite nauseous.]

BRENT: Y' know... Honey... Honey, I'm not gonna go in. I'm coming down with something. [no reply] Honey? Kara? Kara?

[He enters the bathroom, finding Kara in the bathtub, full of soapy water. He circles around to face her, and sees that she's having a seizure.]

BRENT: Kara!

[He starts to lift her out of the water, when he sees something much worse. Michael is underwater! He drops Kara and fishes out Michael hurriedly.]

BRENT: Mikey! Mikey! Kara!

[Kara's seizure continues as Brent hugs his wet baby close to him.]

BRENT: Mikey!

[Opening Credits]

[PPTH. Michael is being wheeled in by paramedics. There's high tension in the atmosphere. Chase runs towards the gurney]

PARAMEDIC 1: [Couldn't make out this part] [?] Don't know how long! Non-responsive at the scene!

[Chase looks down at Michael, crying.]

NURSE: Get a trauma team here!

CHASE: Obviously, breathing now. Continue the blow-by, start portable tests!

PARAMEDIC 2: [wheeling in Kara] Caucasian female, 32...

KARA: [neck held in place on the gurney, panicked] Why am I...?

PARAMEDIC 2: ... tonic-clonic seizure in the bathroom!

DOCTOR: Put her on the scan!

KARA: Where... where am I?

CHASE: [preparing to transfer Michael to a bed] One, one, two, three! [transfer done.]

PARAMEDIC 2: [transferring Kara to a bed] One, two, three!

BRENT: You're in a hospital. Honey, you're in a hospital. Honey, Mikey's here. And the doctors say he's gonna be okay.

CHASE: Hopefully! Needs to be checked out by the [?]...

KARA: What happened?

BRENT: You passed out...

KARA: [shocked] What?!

BRENT: Mikey fell. He's...

CHASE: [calling out] Your wife had a seizure before?

BRENT: No.

KARA: Can't move my head. I wanna see him.

BRENT: He's right here, honey. He's okay. He's right here.

[Kara groans as she tries to turn her head.]

CUT TO:

[PPTH Reception. House and Wilson are entering the hospital.]

HOUSE: Tonight, "L Word" marathon.

WILSON: You watch "The L Word"?

HOUSE: On mute.

WILSON: I'll pass. [House looks at him] Dinner with Cuddy.

HOUSE: Still sucking up so she'll fund your playspace for the chemo-kids? They really ought to save their energy for other things, like crying.

[The elevator dings and the doors open.]

WILSON: [sighs] She's the suck-up. [enters the elevator.]

[House hangs back for a moment (jealous?).]

HOUSE: She asked you? [enters the elevator with Wilson]

WILSON: She's smart. She knows if she buys me enough alcohol, my defenses just might be weakened.

[Elevator door closes.]

HOUSE: Doesn't make sense. Why she ran out of batteries. [lets Wilson absorb the barb.]

WILSON: Hey, I'm recently single. She's single.

[The elevator stops and they get off.]

HOUSE: You're too nice for her to like you. She's not needy enough for you to like her. [walking away from Wilson] She's got an agenda. Just not one that includes an appearance by Little Jimmy. I'll poll my peeps!

[House enters the diagnostics office and, without looking, starts talking.]

HOUSE: How may of you think that Cuddy asked...?

[He shuts up, seeing that Cameron is the only one sitting there.]

HOUSE: Or rather "peep"...

CAMERON: Chase got a case in the ER. [handing House a file] He wants us to take a look.

HOUSE: [waving away the file, irritably] Unless Chase broke his neck, falling off his polo pony, he had no reason to be in the ER.

CAMERON: Cuddy put him on a two-week NICU rotation. Patient had an unexpected seizure...

HOUSE: Seizures are cool to watch, but boring to diagnose. What about Foreman? When does he get his malingering butt down here?

CAMERON: [peeved] He almost died.

FOREMAN: [entering, smiling] "Almost" being the operative word.

[He stands there, looking absolutely cheerful. Cameron gets up, just in time to get a bearhug from him.]

CAMERON: Hey, how're you doing? You look great!

FOREMAN: Thanks.

[Cameron seems a little squeezed, while House looks on indifferently.]

FOREMAN: I feel great!

HOUSE: Glad you're back. [picks up the coffee pot] Cameron makes lousy coffee. I'll take mine black, the way I take my brain-damaged neurologist.

FOREMAN: [releasing Cameron] Happy to help.

[He takes the coffee pot and goes over to the pantry.]

CAMERON: How are you coming along?

HOUSE: Tell her everything is great. Neither of us wants to deal with her guilt.

CAMERON: I don't feel guilty!

HOUSE: 'Course not. Hell, if people felt guilt everytime they accidentally lobotomized a guy...

CAMERON: I was trying to save his life!

[Foreman seems to be having trouble opening the packet of coffee grinds.]

HOUSE: Yeah. Your heart was in the right place. [sees Foreman fumbling around] Just his brain is not quite where it's supposed to be.

[He grabs the packet from Foreman and yanks the top off with his teeth.]

HOUSE: Tell her everything's great.

FOREMAN: [happily]It's true. No more left side-right side reversals, still some short-term memory loss and spatial crises and problems, but trying not to be too hard on myself.

HOUSE: Yeah, might pull a muscle.

FOREMAN: We have a case?

CAMERON: Seizure that can't be explained by epilepsy. And accompanied by elevated calcium levels....

HOUSE: [watching Foreman use a tissue] Still bored! Tell her why.

FOREMAN: Because seizure with mildly elevated calcium is diagnostically simple. It's either hypertherothyroid, cancer or calcium-mediated neurotoxicity.

HOUSE: Well done. But until you can remember how to make coffee, hands off the patients.

CAMERON: House!

[House looks at her.]

CAMERON: All those reasons this case bores you, the ER has already ruled them out.

[House's curiosity/interest music plays.]

CUT TO:

[NICU. Chase is examining Michael.]

CHASE: [to nurse] Lungs are clear. Get an EEG. Confirm the brain function's okay.

[The camera pans to show that House, Cameron and Foreman are also there.]

HOUSE: [annoyed] Can we focus on the task at hand? Why did mommy twitch so hard that she tossed the baby in with the bathwater?

CHASE: You're gonna need me for this?

HOUSE: 'Course I need you. We're a team!

CHASE: Polyarteritis nodosa. Inflamed arteries in the brain cause seizures, inflamed arteries in the kidneys cause calcium build-up.

HOUSE: You're a moron. Did you even look at the file? Kidney function's fine.

CAMERON: Whipple's.

HOUSE: What?

CAMERON: Whipple's!

HOUSE: [handing her the file] Test her.

[Cameron leaves.]

HOUSE: Cameron thinks it starts with a "W". I'm thinking "V".

CHASE: Dad vomited this morning. Maybe they both have strep.

HOUSE: [to Foreman] Think you can do a strep throat culture without the swab ending up in the guy's poop-chute?

FOREMAN: [unfazed, smiling] "V" for "Vasoconstriction".

HOUSE: That'd be my guess.

FOREMAN: Less calcium makes blood vessels in the brain clamp down. The best case scenario is seizure, worst case - stroke.

HOUSE: [to Chase] Do a digital subtraction angiogram. Foreman can't tell up from down, Cameron's a girl. All that mechanical stuff...

CHASE: Sorry. Cuddy says I'm stuck here.

[He walks away. House seems a bit surprised.]

CUT TO:

[Cuddy's office. She enters for the day and starts placing her stuff around the desk. She pulls a small cardboard box out of a paper bag and switches on the lamp nearby to read what's written on it.]

HOUSE: [sitting on sofa near entrance, facing her back] You're late.

[Cuddy seems both surprised and outraged.]

CUDDY: And you are in my locked office. Again.

[Back still to him, she hurriedly puts the box in her purse]

HOUSE: What you got there? Special panties for your date with Wilson?

CUDDY: It's not a date. And it's none of your business.

HOUSE: If it's not a date, it is business. And if it was business, you wouldn't say it was none of my business.

CUDDY: [hanging up her coat] What do you want?

HOUSE: I wanna talk about your date with Wilson.

CUDDY: [laughing] It's not a date.

HOUSE: This is fun. Spring Chase from NICU and I'll shut up about your date.

CUDDY: NICU is short-staffed.

HOUSE: You suddenly lost the ability to lie? Nobody's quit NICU in two years. [stands up] And if you're making up reasons, that means there is no reason. Which means he asked for the assignment, didn't he?

CUDDY: If Chase needs a break from you, he should take it.

[Cuddy looks at House smug.]

HOUSE: Absolutely.

CUT TO:

[Cameron is looking at some pretty sweet 3D slices of someone's head. Foreman enters.]

FOREMAN: [cheerily] Mom and Dad, negative for strep.

[Cameron rotates the 3D view of the blood vessels in the brain.]

CAMERON: You'll be allowed to play with the big toys soon.

[They share a chuckle.]

FOREMAN: Or not. Either way, I'm fine.

CAMERON: You don't have to say that.

FOREMAN: It's okay. I can always work in a research lab or teach.

CAMERON: And you'd be okay with that?

FOREMAN: Why wouldn't I be?

CAMERON: You were planning on pursuing grants of your own. Running a department.

FOREMAN: [emphatically] I'm alive! Changing jobs, not making coffee... if that stuff bothers me now, I don't deserve this second chance.

[Cameron looks at him, feeling rather guilty.]

CUT TO:

[NICU. Chase is examining one of the babies. He sees Brent standing in front of Michael's crib.]

CHASE: They say that physical contact helps the healing process.

[Brent slowly touches his index finger to Michael's little hand. Michael seems a bit placated. Brent smiles.]

CUT TO:

[MRI lab. Kara is about to get an MRI done. Cameron is prepping her.]

CUT TO:

[NICU. Michael starts to get agitated. His monitor starts beeping rapidly. Chase hurries over to take a look at the monitor.]

BRENT: What's happening?

CHASE: Son's not getting enough oxygen. [to nurse] Take Mr. Mason outside.

[The nurse leads Brent outside. Another nurse applies an oxygen mask to Michael.]

CUT TO:

[MRI Lab. Suddenly, Kara cries out in pain and her body arches upward. Blood starts streaming from one of the catheters and splatters on Cameron. Cameron struggles to get her to lie down.]

CUT TO:

[NICU. Chase is attending to Michael.]

CHASE: Lung's collapsed. He's not getting any air! I need an IV catheter!

CUT TO:

[MRI Lab. Cameron tries to push Kara down. Kara's hand is shaking like crazy. Foreman enters.]

FOREMAN: Another seizure?

CAMERON: Her chest muscles aren't contracting! It's something else!

CUT TO:

[NICU. A nurse runs up with a needle and hands it to Chase. She swabs Michael's chest with cotton.]

CUT TO:

[MRI Lab. Kara's back is arching outwards even more as she yells out in pain.]

CAMERON: Whole back is spasming. We need two milligrams of Lorazepam stat!

[Foreman hurries to get it.]

CUT TO:

[NICU. Chase pushes the needle into Michael's chest.]

[CGI: Inside Michael's chest. The needle enters. The air escapes out the needle, allowing the lung to expand properly.]

[The monitor shows his O2 stats increasing.]

NURSE: He's okay.

CHASE: His lung wouldn't collapse if he was okay.

CUT TO:

[MRI Lab. Kara is still spasming.]

CAMERON: [helpless] What the hell's happening?

FOREMAN: [wide-eyed] I have no idea.

[Kara continues to cry out in pain, back still arched upwards.]

CUT TO:

[NICU. Michael is asleep, with an oxygen mask around his face and other sensors attached to him.]

CUT TO:

[Kara's room. Kara, now stabilized, lies on her side, eventually falling asleep.]

CUT TO:

[NICU. Chase puts up an X-ray of Michael's lung on a lightboard. House and other Ducklings enter.]

HOUSE: So! What causes seizures, hypercalcimia and the thing where mommy bends like Gumby.

CHASE: I'm a little busy here.

HOUSE: [looking at X-ray] Uh-oh! Baby's lungs are gonna conk out any minute. Probably wanna deal with that.

CHASE: I'll get right on it as soon as I finish indulging my boss.

HOUSE: Multitask!

CHASE: Clinical pneumenitis. [?] got into the baby's lungs when he was underwater. [to nurse] Start him on prednisone, keep him on High FI O2.

[The nurse leaves.]

HOUSE: Let the indulging commence.

CHASE: Lithium could cause all three of the mother's symptoms.

CAMERON: No record she's on lithium.

FOREMAN: And tox screen was negative for...

HOUSE: Lithium doesn't show on a basic tox screen, scarecrow.

FOREMAN: Myluminous meningitis could also cover everything.

HOUSE: [beat] Rare complications of a rare blood cancer. You're not totally hopeless.

[Foreman smiles in victory.]

HOUSE: [to Cameron] Get an S-PAP and an MRI for the myluminous meningitis. [to Foreman] Search the patient's place for lithium. Baby's lung problem was bacterial, not chemical. Start ECMO. While you're searching for the lithium, take a water sample and check the pipes. Want me to write this down for you?

[Foreman purses his lips and leaves.]

HOUSE: [to Chase] I ask you, is almost dying any excuse for not being fun?

[He leaves. Chase follows.]

CUT TO:

[PPTH corridors. Chase catches up to House.]

CHASE: I'm not putting that baby on ECMO. The chance of their being bacteria in bathwater is...

HOUSE: [stops, interrupts] Why don't you wanna work for me? I'm nice, fun at parties.

CHASE: [cornered] I'm... not working at NICU because of you. The baby's X-ray suggests a chemical pneumenitis.

HOUSE: [walking away] To me, X-ray was too consolidated. So why are you down here? Hoping to expand your make-out pool, include the pre- to nine-year old demographic?

[He stops at the elevator and hits the button.]

CHASE: [sighs] I needed a break. From patients. They lie to us all the time. Foreman almost died trying to save a drug-dealing cop. I just... wanted to get away from that for a while.

HOUSE: [beat] What a complete load of crap. What am I, a nurse you're trying to prep with this vulnerability thing?

CHASE: [firm] ECMO could kill him.

HOUSE: You don't start him on ECMO and that infection could rampage through his body like Piston fans after a championship. [the elevator arrives] But you do it your way. There's nothing more honest than a dead baby.

[Camera holds on Chase.]

CUT TO:

[Outside the NICU. Chase is explaining the procedure to Brent.]

CHASE: ECMO stands for Extra Corporeal Membrane Oxygenation. Basically, we remove your son's blood...

BRENT: All of his blood?

CHASE: We run it through a machine which takes out carbon dioxide and adds oxygen. Then we rewarm the blood and run it back into his body. There is a significant risk of internal hemorrhaging and he may also suffer...

BRENT: You put him on antibiotics. Won't that take care of the infection?

CHASE: Not fast enough.

BRENT: Are you sure this is Mikey's best shot?

CHASE: [nodding] Absolutely.

CUT TO:

[NICU. The ECMO is underway.]

CUT TO:

[Wilson's office. As Wilson sits unmoved in his desk, House dumps a whole load of trash on his desk and starts sifting through it.]

WILSON: Cuddy's trash?

HOUSE: Not anymore. Paid good money for it.

[He shows Wilson the now-empty cardboard box that Cuddy was hiding the other time.]

HOUSE: Look at what she bought.

WILSON: "Red Clover".

HOUSE: What is "Red Clover" used for, Dr. Wilson?

WILSON: Also used to treat asthma, psoriasis, joint pain...

HOUSE: She doesn't wheeze, flake or ache. And she didn't ask a pulmonologist or dermatologist for dinner. She invited an oncologist.

[Wilson looks worried and a bit let down.]

HOUSE: It's not a date, it's a consult.

[The door opens. Cameron walks in. She seems a bit puzzled about Wilson's normally pristine desk, cluttered with trash.]

CAMERON: Mom's MRI was negative for masses, abscesses. There's no sign she's biologically...

HOUSE: Fascinating! Call me when you have s...

CAMERON: She has a sub-arachnoid bleed.

CUT TO:

[PPTH corridors. House limps, followed by Cameron.]

HOUSE: So why is our patient bleeding into her brain?

CAMERON: Her blood work-up shows her proteins elevated.

HOUSE: She's bleeding because she's not clotting. Why is she not clotting?

[They enter the Diagnostics office. Foreman is there, with his findings from the Mason household.]

HOUSE: [Mr. Sensitivity] What'd you bring us, Deady?

FOREMAN: Only mood-altering drug was vodka. At the back of her drawer.

CAMERON: Hiding booze is classic alcoholic behaviour. That could explain the bleeding.

FOREMAN: What bleeding?

HOUSE: [pointedly] You don't remember? She bled all over you this morning?

[Foreman seems confused.]

HOUSE: Kidding. Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one.

[Foreman smiles and takes the file from Cameron.]

CAMERON: If she's an alcoholic, she would also be more prone to hypercalcimia.

FOREMAN: But, tox screen was negative for alcohol.

HOUSE: Hey, it was your idea! Now it's even better. Mommy quits, she gets the D.T.s, even explains the seizure.

FOREMAN: Also fits conversion disorder. They're deep in debt, he's working round the clock, they got a new baby. I think the seizure was a physical response to psychological stress.

HOUSE: Boozy mommy covers more symptoms. Put her in a nice phenobarbitol coma before the D.T.s kill her.

[Foreman nods and starts to leave.]

HOUSE: Where're you going?

FOREMAN: [stops, surprised] To... put her in a phenocoma.

HOUSE: What if I'm wrong? What if daddy's the drunk?

CAMERON: Do you want us to give her the pheno or not?

HOUSE: I want him to argue his point!

FOREMAN: I assume you considered the father and ruled him out.

HOUSE: What's that saying? "When you Ass-ume, you become a pain in the ass to me"?

FOREMAN: Why should I argue? You'd just overrule me.

HOUSE: [shouts] Enough! Get a pony or a watermelon farm.

CAMERON: [can't believe what she's hearing] House!

HOUSE: I need him to react! I need him to act like a human being. Need him to get over this boring, near-death rebirth.

FOREMAN: [still smiling] I have changed. It's not something you get over.

HOUSE: Nearly dying changes everything forever. For about two months. Two months is too long. I need the guy I hired back. Now!

FOREMAN: No matter how much your misery loves company, it's not getting mine.

[House looks at Cameron, exasperated.]

FOREMAN: I'll talk to the dad. Cameron can take the mom. We'll figure out if mom is a drinker.

HOUSE: Waste of time. Put her in a coma before the D.T.s kill her.

[Foreman leaves with a smile. Cameron also leaves, staring at House. House returns her stare.]

CUT TO:

[Fancy restaurant. Cuddy and Wilson are on their date/consult/whatever House says it is. Obligatory piano music plays in the background. Wilson seems to be more interested in eating than Cuddy.]

CUDDY: [wiping her mouth with a napkin] So, is this a separation or a...

WILSON: [shrugs] Our lawyers have been hired, friends divvied up. Oddly she didn't fight me for House.

CUDDY: [laughs] At least there aren't kids involved. Just have each other to deal with.

WILSON: [thoughtful] If there had been kids, maybe we would've done more of that.

CUDDY: [beat] Do you want kids?

WILSON: [beat] Listen, is there anything in particular you... wanted to... possible business or...

CUDDY: [shaking her head, smiling] Catching up. I mean, you know, it's not like either one of us has anybody to run home to. [laughs]

WILSON: No. [resumes eating.]

[Cuddy gives up and resumes eating as well.]

CUT TO:

[Kara's room. She opens her eyes.]

[Her POV: Cameron standing over her, slowly coming into focus.]

CAMERON: How're you feeling?

KARA: [hoarse] Okay. Bit groggy.

CAMERON: [smiling] There's somebody here to see you.

[She moves aside to show Brent, holding Michael, standing there. Brent smiles and goes to Kara.]

BRENT: Hey, Mikey. Mommy's awake.

[Kara slowly gets up and takes Michael in her arms.]

KARA: Ohhh Mikey. Oh God, I was so scared. Oh...

[She kisses Michael lightly on the head.]

KARA: I love you so much. Oh... shhh... [to Brent] I'm sorry.

BRENT: [shaking his had] You don't have anything to be sorry about. You were sick.

[Cameron, watching from outside the room, smiles and leaves.]

CUT TO:

[Wide aerial shot of PPTH. Day.]

CUT TO:

[Reception area. House and Foreman and walking together.]

FOREMAN: Turns out, she and her husband met in AA. Obviously she slipped. Good call.

HOUSE: Wasn't hard, considering my other choice was your stupid psych theory.

[Foreman has some trouble holding a pen. Still, House does not get the reaction he was hoping for.]

HOUSE: Which was not stupid! I'm telling you, I'm gonna drop the N-Bomb if I have to.

FOREMAN: [patting House on the shoulder, laughing] You're addicted to conflict.

HOUSE: [looking at his Vicodin] Did they change the name?

[He dry-swallows some Vicodin.]

FOREMAN: You could have handled this patient without dragging Chase in. The fact that he didn't want in, killed you.

[However, House is not listening to him. He is more interested in what Kara is doing in her room. Her back is to the hall and she is propping herself up on her left hand, obviously doing something strenuous with her right.]

FOREMAN: ...Just like the fact that you can't get a rise out of me.

[House starts moving worriedly towards Kara's room. He notices Michael's bassinet is empty.]

HOUSE: Where's the baby?

[He drops his cane and run/limps into Kara's room, shoving the bassinet out of the way, to see Kara deliberately smothering Michael with a pillow. Foreman pulls her off Michael as she kicks and yells. House picks up Michael slowly and hears for a pulse/heartbeat.

KARA: Help me! Get off! I got to do this!

HOUSE: [urgent] No breath sounds! Crash cart baby, STAT!

[He administers CPR to Michael, while Foreman subdues Kara, who continues to struggle and scream.]

HOUSE: [to Foreman] Told you your psych theory wasn't stupid.

CUT TO:

[Outside the NICU. Brent looks despondently at Michael being attended to. Foreman is with him.]

FOREMAN: Your son is stable. But the lack of oxygen damaged his kidneys.

BRENT: She must have rolled over on him by mistake.

FOREMAN: [sighs] Mr. Mason, I was there. Your wife tried to smother your son.

BRENT: [sniffs, firm] That's impossible. Kara would never hurt Mikey.

CUT TO:

[Kara's room. She is restrained to her bed. Cameron is checking up on her.]

KARA: He knows. They said Mikey knows.

CAMERON: You hear voices?

KARA: They wouldn't quit saying that Mikey would be better off. They were right.

CUT TO:

[Diagnostics office. Cameron is reporting to House and Foreman.]

CAMERON: We've been trying to diagnose a seizure that didn't exist. She faked it when her husband caught her.

FOREMAN: I don't think she faked it.

CAMERON: [arguing] She just happened to seize right in the middle of drowning her child? Lucky break for the kid.

HOUSE: [mock-fatherly] Heyyy. Take it easy on Foreman. He's playing with one lobe tied behind his back.

FOREMAN: Postpartum psychosis makes you wanna drown a kid. But the internal conflict triggers a seizure.

HOUSE: You know what else might be a trigger? Physical illness. It's a wild idea, I know, especially since she doesn't have any obvious physical symptoms like internal bleeding or excess calcium.

FOREMAN: I'll draw some blood. Test for...

[House loses it, flailing his arms and opening his eyes wide. He cries out in exasperation.]

HOUSE: Jeez, you've done it again! Will you argue with me? Drinkers don't eat right. Explains the bleeding and the calcium. This might just be some crazy drunk and I'm telling you that she's about to die of myluminous meningitis!

CAMERON: We already tested for...

HOUSE: Exactly! It's an insane idea!

FOREMAN: Okay. What do you want me to do?

HOUSE: Have an original thought. [calming down] In the meantime, stress her into having another seizure.

FOREMAN: Can't. She's on haloperidol.

HOUSE: You also can't because it's dangerous and highly unethical! Therefore, if you get caught, pretend you can't make coffee. Mental defectives get tons of slack.

[Foreman only smiles. House wipes his brow. Cameron closes her eyes in slight disgust.]

HOUSE: [sighs] Take her off the haloperidol, hook her up to an EEG, flash some lights, make her pant, shoot her up with a placebo. When she starts twitching and the machine twitches along, it's real. If not, call the cops. She's a psycho killer.

[Foreman gets up and leaves without a word. Cameron follows House into his office.]

CAMERON: Stop pushing him!

HOUSE: Stop protecting him.

CAMERON: He needs it.

HOUSE: Not if he wants to get better.

CAMERON: He might not be able to get better.

HOUSE: Well then, I need a new neurologist.

CAMERON: He got sick during his job.

HOUSE: If he got killed doing his job, I wouldn't keep him on the payroll. I don't care how guilty you feel or how touched you are by his reborn spirit...

CAMERON: I'm not touched...

HOUSE: Then you're guilt-ridden.

CAMERON: I'm not guilt-ridden!

HOUSE: Then you're pathetic!

CAMERON: Right now, I'm annoyed! Keeping him up all night, the seizure is not the way to advance his recovery! It's too much!

HOUSE: You're right. You should stick around. Make sure he doesn't screw up.

[Cameron sighs in defeat.]

CUT TO:

[Seizure lab. Kara is sitting on a chair with strobing lights flashing in her face. She's hooked up to an EEG.]

FOREMAN: [over radio] Kara, look directly into the light.

[In the observation room, Foreman goes over the results. Cameron enters.]

FOREMAN: Keep looking. [to Cameron] Thought you'd be gone for the day.

CAMERON: Thought I'd wait for the bone marrow biopsy results.

FOREMAN: [smiling] House sent you to babysit me, didn't he?

CAMERON: He asked me to wait for the results.

FOREMAN: Cameron, it's fine.

CAMERON: [softly] 'Course it is.

FOREMAN: [looking at her] Look, a few weeks ago, you were upset that I didn't consider you a friend. Now you're upset that I'm happy?

CAMERON: What can I say? Apparently, I'm a bitch.

FOREMAN: [laughs aloud] Whoa! Didn't say that.

CAMERON: It's annoying. Existing every day of your life as a blessing is basically calling everyone else shallow. Gets old.

FOREMAN: Sorry.

CAMERON: Oh, give it a rest.

CUT TO:

[PPTH Lab. Wilson is performing some tests, when House limps in.]

HOUSE: How was dinner?

WILSON: Cuddy did not mention cancer.

HOUSE: She lost her nerve.

WILSON: [firm] It... was a date.

HOUSE: What're you doing?

WILSON: PCR test.

HOUSE: You're doing it yourself. In the middle of the night. On a spoon. [picks it up] Cuddy's spoon.

WILSON: I'm checking her saliva for cancer markers.

HOUSE: Yeaaah! I do that after all my dates too. [drops the spoon on the table] People think you're the nice one.

WILSON: Why are you so worried about Cuddy?

HOUSE: You go first. You desperately want this to be a date.

WILSON: Because the alternative is cancer.

HOUSE: Just admit that you like her. She's smart, funny, has a zesty bod. And it's great that you can look beyond the fact that she's the Devil!

WILSON: I stole her spoon. You stole her garbage.

HOUSE: She's my boss. She gets sick, the hospital might replace her. Specially if she dies. I'd have to learn how to manipulate someone new.

WILSON: Whoa. I think I'm gonna cry.

HOUSE: Find me when those results come in.

[House leaves.]

CUT TO:

[NICU. Brent is standing over Michael's bassinet. Chase comes over, administering medication.]

CHASE: Mr. Mason, with the damage done to your son's kidneys, his potassium is climbing. It's causing irregular heartbeats. I'm doubling the meds and starting him on dialysis. Unless we get his potassium down,... he's gonna have a heart attack.

[Brent looks worried and says nothing.]

CUT TO:

[Seizure lab. Kara is still undergoing the seizure test.]

FOREMAN: [over radio] Kara, just another few minutes.

CAMERON: Biopsy's back. She's negative for myluminous meningitis.

FOREMAN: And she's not seizing. So we're wrong and House is wrong.

CAMERON: [looking at him] You're okay with that?

[Just then, the monitor starts beeping.]

CAMERON: She's seizing.

[They look at the monitor and then at her. Kara seems to be sucking air irregularly. ]

FOREMAN: She's not doing anything.

CAMERON: Brain activity isn't accelerating, it's slowing down.

[In the lab, Kara keeps sucking air at irregular intervals and moving her fingers inwards and outwards.]

CUT TO:

[Diagnostics office. Cameron reports to House, who is resting his head on his cane. Foreman is leaning against the wall.]

CAMERON: Muscle rigidity, involuntary grasping and sucking motions. She's in encephalopathic delirium.

HOUSE: Hmm, genuine physiological illness. Rules out a few things. Like what, I wonder?

FOREMAN: [nodding his head, defeated] Postpartum psychosis and conversion disorder.

HOUSE: Thing about being a good loser, you're still a loser.

FOREMAN: [unfazed] Ouch.

[House looks at Cameron to continue.]

CAMERON: The delirium means her brain is shutting down and reverting to its most instinctual functions.

HOUSE: Since it's progressing, we can assume it's progressive. Which means it won't be long before the brain closes shop altogether. Ideas?

[Cameron says nothing.]

CUT TO:

[NICU. Michael's monitor starts beeping. A nurse runs over.]

NURSE: He's in V-Fib!

CHASE: [running over] Potassium's still too high! No pulse. Get him off the machine!

[Brent stands outside, trying to see what's going on, fear all over his face.]

[Chase pushes Michael's chest with his fingers. The nurse removes a catheter, spraying blood around. Chase takes the baby defibrillator paddles and holds it above Michael.]

CHASE: Charge to ten! Clear!

[He shocks Michael. There's a momentary rise in the heart monitor.]

NURSE: Still in V-Fib!

[Chase hands her the defibrillators and starts administering CPR.]

CHASE: Another amp of epi!

[Chase starts pushing on Michael's chest frantically, desperate to revive him.]

CUT TO:

[Diagnostics office.]

HOUSE: Chase shouldn't be wasting his time in NICU.

FOREMAN: Could be Wernicke's.

HOUSE: No, treatment for Wernicke's is thiamine. We gave her that to get her into the pheno.

CAMERON: Delirium plus the lithium... I know we didn't find any, but...

HOUSE: She'd have to be smuggling it in, getting sicker.

CAMERON: Whipple's causes encephalopathic delirium.

FOREMAN: Test was negative.

CAMERON: The test could have been wrong.

HOUSE: Ideas are not soda cans. Recycling sucks! We need something new and shiny. Or go retro. Take an old idea, shine it up, add a new symptom... [Gets a thought.] Encephalopathic delirium. Pellagra!

FOREMAN: She drinks. Alcoholics get pellagra. A lousy diet, so no niacin.

HOUSE: He agrees with me! What a shock.

FOREMAN: Y-You're right. Lack of niacin starves the brain, neurons shut down, causes seizures, encephalopathic delirium and psychosis.

[Chase enters the diagnostics office, looking quite beat and grim.]

CAMERON: [not noticed Chase yet] You give Kara niacin, she'll come out of her delirium and she'll be totally sane.

CHASE: [leaning against the wall, sadly] Don't think she's ever gonna be sane again.

[The others turn around to look at him.]

CHASE: Her son just died.

[Camera holds on House.]

CUT TO:

[NICU. The nurse is unhooking Michael from the monitor. Brent is sitting nearby, tears streaming from his eyes, sobbing quietly. She turns out the light and leaves, engulfing Brent in darkness.]

CUT TO:

[Kara's room. Foreman is checking up on her IV drips. She's awake.]

FOREMAN: How do you feel?

KARA: Um, my... uh, stomach kinda hurts.

FOREMAN: Need to ask you some questions. See how you're doing.

KARA: Hmm-hmm.

FOREMAN: Tell me your name.

KARA: Kara Mason. Is my son here?

FOREMAN: When were you born?

KARA: P-Please. Where's Michael? Is he okay?

FOREMAN: Do you hear any other voices besides mine?

KARA: [impatient, worried] No! Answer me!

FOREMAN: You've been suffering from delusions. They were caused by a vitamin deficiency. Pellagra. Made you believe things that were not real.

KARA: Like the voices.

[Foreman nods.]

KARA: [breaking down] I... remember doing things to Mikey. Were those real?

FOREMAN: [beat] I'm afraid so.

KARA: [crying] So... I...

FOREMAN: [softly] You tried to suffocate your son.

KARA: But... I... You... You stopped me. And uh... that-that other doctor, he got Mikey breathing.

FOREMAN: Your son's organs were damaged too severely. [sigh] He passed away this morning.

[Kara starts crying in absolute sorrow and moving around the bed in sheer helplessness.]

KARA: Oh... no... no, no, no, no, no, no... Oh my God! No... God!

[Suddenly she keels over the side of the bed and vomits out blood.]

CUT TO:

[Diagnostics office. Foreman reports to House. Chase is also there, looking distracted.]

FOREMAN: Pellagra doesn't cause bloody vomit. She's still sick and getting worse.

HOUSE: So, what causes pellagra and crimson spew?

[House hits the file tray, that Chase is leaning on, with his cane.]

HOUSE: [to Chase] Dead baby, while sad, not our problem.

CHASE: [sighs] I should've given him more polystyrene.

HOUSE: You killed him! If you don't get over it, you're gonna kill momma too.

CAMERON: Her alcoholism caused the pellagra. Maybe it also explains the vomiting... gastritis.

FOREMAN: Gastritis meds aren't helping. Which may confirm her story she only slipped once.

CAMERON: You remove the drinking from the equation, internal bleeding, the hypercalcimia, seizure and pellagra are all back...

HOUSE: [looking at Chase, who is still downcast] Chase, will you get your head out of the dead baby's butt and focus on the barely alive...

[And now it's EPIPHANY time!]

HOUSE: How much polystyrene did you give the kid?

CHASE: One gram. His potassium just kept rising.

[House limps out.]

CUT TO:

[NICU. Brent is sitting in a chair, cradling Michael's lifeless form in his arms, sobbing inconsolably. House enters.]

HOUSE: I need your son.

BRENT: [protectively holding Michael] Who're you?

HOUSE: Your wife's doctor. Your son may have had the same condition that she does.

BRENT: My son didn't have a condition. [angry] She killed him.

HOUSE: If I biopsy her intestines, she'll bleed out. He obviously won't.

BRENT: [teeth clenched] You're not using my son's body to help her.

HOUSE: Okay. How about trading him for a beer? [That's our House, Mr. Sensitivity!]

[Brent looks at House, surprised and angry.]

HOUSE: Or maybe, you're more of a whisky guy. You didn't have strep or stomach bug the morning you came in, you puked because you were hung over. Accuse a recovered drug [addict?] of slipping most of the time, you'd be right.

BRENT: So I drink. You're acting like this is my fault!

HOUSE: People are gonna feel sorry for you. They'll tell you that you can't anticipate the unthinkable. Well, the fact is, you can. It's just not all that pleasant.

BRENT: [breaking down] You don't know anything about how...

HOUSE: [angry] I know people don't get crazy enough to kill someone without first being crazy enough for someone to notice. How many times did you go for a drink because she was crying? How many times did you stay at work because you couldn't listen to her telling you what a bad mother she is. You were relieved when she shut down. She just sat staring for hours at a time. She held the pillow over his head. You slept while she went nuts! Not exactly a draw, but...

BRENT: What is wrong with you? What kind of a person says those things now?

HOUSE: Let me do the tests. It'll be one less thing for you to feel crappy about.

[Brent hugs Michael to his chest.]

CUT TO:

[House's office. Chase is sitting there alone, trying to get a hold of his emotions. House enters. Chase feigns reading a magazine nonchalantly.]

HOUSE: Got a dead baby for you to biopsy.

CHASE: Let Cameron do it.

HOUSE: Love working NICU? I can get you transferred.

CHASE: I told you. I just wanted to trust patients.

HOUSE: You don't give a crap about patients.

[Chase slams down the magazine and starts to head out. House holds up an envelope.]

HOUSE: Your paycheck. You've been double-dipping. Taking your vacation time here, while drawing your salary in NICU. Strange. Rich boy doing all that for some extra cash?

[Chase goes to take the paycheck, but House pulls it away. Chase holds his hand out for it.]

CHASE: I'm not rich.

HOUSE: But your dad was. Now he's dead. If you're not rich, that means that daddy cut you out.

[Chase grabs the envelope.]

CHASE: [cold] I'm not rich.

HOUSE: Don't let it change you.

[He lets go of the envelope. Chase walks towards the door.]

HOUSE: And do the test.

CUT TO:

[Shot of PPTH. Evening.]

CUT TO:

[Operating Room. Chase slowly unwraps Michael from the sheath, on the table.]

CHASE: [softly praying] Lord of Compassion, take Michael into Your arms. [sighs] Welcome him into Paradise. There will be no sorrow, no [?]. [Sorry, could not make out the prayer. The Choral note in the background was louder than the prayer.]

[Chase takes a deep sobbing breath.]

CHASE: [softly] I'm sorry.

[He picks up the optic fibre camera and inserts it into Michael's mouth. He looks into it and stops.]

CUT TO:

[House's office. House is playing with his Yo-Yo, when Wilson enters, displaying the results of his PCR test.]

WILSON: It was a date! Cuddy's negative for all cancer markers.

[He motions as if to say "That's all!".]

WILSON: It was a date.

[House, reading the results, notices something. At that moment, Chase enters.]

CHASE: Baby's intestines show slight villous atrophy.

[House takes that in and gets up and enters the Diagnostics office, where Foreman and Cameron sit.]

WILSON: How would a baby have flattened villi?

HOUSE: He's being treated with polystyrene.

FOREMAN: Polystyrene shouldn't...

HOUSE: It didn't. Question is, what did they use in the NICU to bind it together?

CAMERON: Wheat gluten.

HOUSE: That's great stuff. Unless your body can't tolerate it.

[Chase looks surprised.]

CHASE: The baby didn't have colic, he had celiac disease?

HOUSE: Just like mom. Celiac can be triggered by all kinds of stress. Bills, childbirth, drunk husband. Every time she had a bowl of pasta or slice of bread, sloshed in soya sauce...

[CGI of insides of small intestine.]

HOUSE: ... her small intestine became more damaged, less able to absorb the vitamins and minerals in her bloodstream. Her body couldn't absorb enough niacin, caused the pellagra and absorbed Vitamin K, caused the bleeding. And celiac is why the baby's meds didn't work. His body just couldn't absorb them. Switch mom to IV nutrition. It's gluten-free and will push her villi right up.

CAMERON: No, celiac causes nutritional deprivation. Our patient has excess calcium.

HOUSE: [to Wilson] Tell her what causes excess calcium. With a chaser of bloody vomit.

WILSON: Celiac patients are susceptible to cancer of the stomach lining. She has [?] lymphoma.

HOUSE: She's your patient now. [looking at Cuddy's PCR test results] And it wasn't a date.

[Wilson has his usual look of bewilderment as House leaves the office.]

CUT TO:

[Cuddy's office. Cuddy looks up from her paperwork to see House entering.]

HOUSE: You don't have cancer.

CUDDY: [okaaaay] You don't have dwarfism.

HOUSE: You have no proof of that. I, on the other hand, have this.

[He hands her the PCR test result.]

CUDDY: You ran a PCR on me without my consent?

HOUSE: Hey, it's good news.

CUDDY: Really! It's just hard to access because of this overwhelming sense of personal violation.

HOUSE: Deal with that on your own time. Bad news, estrogen is too high!

CUDDY: No matter how many people you tell otherwise, I am, and always have been, a woman. Estrogen is normal.

HOUSE: Not this much. Not for at least another week. That's when you ovulate.

CUDDY: Wha... you monitor my periods? Based on w-when I get bitchy or...

HOUSE: Once a month, when you leave the kid's cancer ward, your eyes glisten. About three days later, you break your ban on sugar and chow down a bucket of frozen yogurt in the cafeteria, sprinkles included. Based on the last yogurt sighting, you've got another week before you ovulate. You're on fertility meds. With "Red Clover" as an herbal booster.

[Cuddy seems like she's been busted for the worst form of medical malpractice - whatever that may be.]

HOUSE: Your date with Wilson was an audition. It's too bad he didn't land the gig. He would have had fun.

CUDDY: I was considering a donation. Not party.

HOUSE: So, when's our "dinner"? [he makes the air-quotes.]

[There's some sound coming from outside the office. They both look to see Wilson, standing outside, talking to someone.]

HOUSE: Ohhh, he's gonna be so disappointed.

CUDDY: Right. You two are gonna have a lot of fun with this.

[Wilson enters.]

WILSON: Your patient won't let me touch her.

[Camera holds on House.]

CUT TO:

[Wide aerial shot of PPTH. Night.]

CUT TO:

[Kara's room. House is trying to talk some sense into her.]

KARA: I killed my son.

HOUSE: [sighs] Is it my turn to say something obvious now? Oh, I know, you were insane.

KARA: I did it. I chose to do it.

HOUSE: Like diabetics choose to not produce insulin. Listen, someone got sick, someone died, happens everyday. Only difference in this case is it wasn't the same someone.

KARA: I could have stopped! I didn't have to listen to those voices.

HOUSE: Spoken like a true sane person. This is not your fault. You're healthy now. Except for the cancer.

KARA: Those voices felt as real to me as Michael's hand, right here when he nursed. [breaking down] And the smell of his hair...

HOUSE: [firm] You do not deserve to die.

KARA: Maybe. [sighs] But I don't wanna live.

CUT TO:

[Outside Kara's room. Foreman turns around to see House exit the room.]

HOUSE: She said no.

FOREMAN: So we get her declared unstable. Point her medical problems...

HOUSE: She was unstable, now she's sane. She's entitled to refuse treatment.

FOREMAN: You have to change her mind. You can't just walk away from...

HOUSE: [turning around on him] Fine! Go on in there and tell her that every day is a blessing! "So you killed your baby, shake it off, think positive, 'least you're alive"!

[He waits for a reaction from Foreman.]

HOUSE: Hmm, kinda hard to sell when you don't believe it, huh? You never believed it! You just wanted all that... crap you went through to mean something. Well, it didn't mean anything, it never does! [winks] Welcome back!

[House walks away. Foreman smiles wrily and finally cracks.]

FOREMAN: [following House] Why... are you doing this to me? I was happy!

HOUSE: You were aspiring to be content.

FOREMAN: [angry] Don't give me a semantic argument. I was... content with the way things were. That's what happiness is.

HOUSE: Yeah, if we're all just satisfied with what we have, what a beautiful world it would be. We'd slowly starve to death in our own filth, but at least we'd be happy. [stops to look at Foreman] Listen, I need your self-worth to hang on this job. Kicking ass here will be all the less you rise above miserable. Waking up in morning is enough, I don't need you.

FOREMAN: I can live with that.

HOUSE: No, you can't. Not anymore.

[With a meaningful glance, he limps away.]

CUT TO:

[Kara's room. Kara is lying on the bed, looking despondent. Brent enters.]

BRENT: [trying to hold it together] If you got treatment, then maybe we could...

[Kara turns her head away in refusal. Brent sniffles and leans on a chair.]

BRENT: When you see Mikey, tell him his dad says he's sorry.

CUT TO:

[PPTH Corridors. House (in motorcycle gear) and Wilson get off the elevator and stop. Cuddy is in front of them. They awkwardly let her in and get off.]

WILSON: Hi.

HOUSE: Hi,

CUDDY: Thanks.

WILSON: [feeling like an idiot] Did you tell Cuddy you tested her for cancer?

HOUSE: Yeah.

WILSON: And?

HOUSE: It wasn't a date. Turned out she had some skin lesions. Guess there was no genetic predisposition.

WILSON: [beat] You TiVo'ed "The L-Word"?

[House looks at him and smiles, as they walk off.]

CUT TO:

[Locker area. Foreman uses cards to see if he can remember medical terminology. He picks up "Mirtazapine". He turns it around and frowns to see he got the answer wrong. He dumps it in the pile on his left and picks out another one from the pile on his right. No different from first. In frustration, he slams the left pile on the table and sulks a bit. Cameron is standing in the doorway. Foreman looks behind at her. Still feeling guilty, she walks past him and leaves. Foreman decides to try afresh and picks up a card ("Modafinil"). When he turns it around, he smiles - he got it right! He goes for the next one.]

[CREDITS]